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  • Nick Pennman

No terrorism during Covid-19.

In the wake of the Corona epidemic you would be remiss not to notice that terrorism appears to be so 2019. We reached out unnamed leader of a global terrorist organisation to get his thoughts.

“Social distancing is tough. If I blow myself up, then what? The closest person is six feet away. Then six feet to the next person. It might kill five, ten people if I’m lucky. What’s the point?”

This apparent lack of enthusiasm appears to be playing out in the media and citizens are taking notice.

“Ever since this virus kicked off I’ve seen no terrorist attacks in the news. No mass shootings for that matter either”.

Speaking with an unnamed news source, they reassured the Bugle that there should be no cause for alarm: “Once this thing blows over there will be plenty of terrorism in the news cycle. We can only scare people with one thing at a time”.

Currently however, there are no signs of the Covid hysteria slowing down with most nations extending lockdowns for another month.

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