• Nick Pennman

Lord of the Rings to be remade for Gen-Z after CNN slams racist sentiment in the films

Early talks have begun to remake the Lord of The Ring for a Gen-Z audience after CNN slammed the trilogy for displaying racist, anti-immigrant sentiment.

“These orcs had to commute long distances just to access the privileges men and elves enjoy”, stated a CNN columnist.

“Instead of being welcomed into their land, these tired, hungry orcs were met with hostility. This isn’t the message we want to be sending to kids”.

A recent study of CNN viewers found that over 90% were in agreeance with the article. As a result, Hollywood has set out to re-imagine the trilogy.

The Bugle spoke with a writer assigned to the project who revealed that the title of the remake will be called; “The New Gondorians”, focusing on how the mass migration of orcs will reshape Gondor for the better. A shooting date has yet to be set.

In other entertainment news, the cult hit, Indiana Jones and the Raider’s of the Lost Ark is slated for a remake. The films producers say they wanted to recreate the film for a modern audience, without all the politically incorrect triggers the previous film contained.

The film tells the inclusive tale of an intrepid non-binary archaeologist named Indi-Anna, who tries to defeat a band of Nazis (Trump Supporters) to the last Christian relic on earth in the hopes that he/she can destroy it.

Battling against a racist police force, a university professor who refuses to use gender pronouns and a wage, thirty cents lower than her heteronormative, male archaeologist counterpart, Indi-Anna Jones is in constant peril, making hairs breadth escapes at every turn. The film will debut in cinemas this coming November.

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