• Nick Pennman

Joe Biden announces Carole Baskin of Tiger King fame as his running mate.

Updated: May 4

Democratic candidate Joe Biden has today announced that he will be selecting Carole Baskin as a vice presidential running mate after former first lady Hillary Clinton kindly declined. “Hillary would have made the perfect partner in crime, but we’ve found her superior in Carole”.

According to Biden, his partnership with Baskin would change his official residence from Virginia to Florida.

“Carole has all the qualities Hillary possesses, but she does it with flair”. Said Biden when referencing allegations that Carole fed her ex-husband to a tiger.

“Both candidates have a knack for staying out of prison which is a key positive, however Carole’s a fresh face which is what the Democratic party needs at this point in time”. When asked to comment, Mrs. Clinton offered a simple response. “F**k you Carole Baskin”.